Bath Time

The monster does not like getting a bath. I’ve heard that Petsmart has a big dog washing tub leashes can be clipped to and people are able to use for a small fee, but the monster acts like such a fool during bath time I too embarrassed to go through the whole ordeal in public. Because she spends the majority of her time indoors and is strongly discouraged from making contact with dirt outdoors, the monster only needs a bath once a month. Over the past two years, I’ve perfected the art of getting the monster in and out of the bath in as quickly as possible in a semi-calm manner - or so I thought.

After knocking over a sweet tea onto herself the monster was sticky and needed her bath. Step one is to trick her into the bathroom. Since she’s my little shadow she’ll usually follow me in anyway so I just have to pretend to be starting the makeup routine or brush my hair and in she’ll come, then I swoop behind her to lock us in. At this point the monster knows she tricked and she’ll curl up in the corner. After letting the water get warm the monster will have to be picked up and placed in the tub - which she will try to get out of several times. In the past I used to pour water over the monster. Now, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to get soaked anyway so now I just hop in and hold her in the shower. On the shower goes and the monster gets all wet. Naturally, she shakes the water off and I’m covered in wet sticky fur. Shampoo oneand the monster gets a full body rub down and her paws rubbed clean. Then the shower goes on again and that’s where the trouble started. I picked the monster up to get her under the shower and rinsed off as quickly as possible ans she FREAKED out. I now have claw marks on my shoulder and neck, a bruise on my knee and a sore spot under my arm from falling down and bringing the shower curtain with us.

A few minutes later with the curtain back up and the monster rinsed she proceeded to shake off making water splatter marks on all the walls and mirror and dramatically roll around on the bathroom floor mat for 10 minutes. Then five minutes later she came thundering downstairs and plopped o her pillow wagging her tail at me like nothing happened . . . And that’s why she’s my monster.