95% of the time nothing scares the monster. In fact, people with the capacity to crush the monster with the bare hands are more afraid of her than she is of them. Case in point: as a member of the highland hundred I was able to have several University of Memphis football players over to my house for dinner and the monster was not pleased. Football players are big guys mind you, and strong. These guys probably could have done serious damage to the monster if they wanted to, but does that scare the monster, no! In fact she gave them her defensive back off buddy bark and they got so nervous she had to be locked up until everyone went home.
Meanwhile, the sound of thunder terrifies the monster. As in quivering, panting, waking her Mommy up every hour in the middle of the night terrified. It makes no sense! So, being tired this morning I did a little Internet research on why the monster is so touch sometimes but a big ole baby other times. This is the most helpful article I found:
Basically, hugging the monster so I can sleep an hour at a time is telling the monster it’s ok to be afraid; FML. Apparently babies are the only little creatures that have to be ferberized.
