Friday, August 12, 2011

Monster Food

After much observation of the monster and placing her in scenarios where multiple people food options are available I have come up with a list of the monster’s food preferences in ranking order. Should you find yourself in our home partaking in a meal you should keep this list in mind of ways to gain the monster’s favor.

1.       Meat – of any kind really
2.       Chocolate and people treats – very bad, the monster usually eats this when she steals it. Contrary to popular belief monsters do not die from chocolate, it does however make them incredibly hyper and have an upset tummy.
3.       Pizza
4.       Milk and products made from milk
5.       Eggs – especially a raw one, which just so happens to be good for a shiny coat
6.       Cheese
7.       Green Vegetables – the monster likes green beans and broccoli, she does not like carrots
8.       Rice, Pasta and potatoes
9.       Bread and rolls
10.   Fruit – the monster will eat apples (see picture) and the occasional melon but never grapes or bananas
11.   Dog treats
12.   Dog food

Note how food for dogs ranks at the bottom of the monster’s list. Typically she will only eat dog food when its bedtime and it’s very apparent that there will be no people food. I suspect this is because the monster does not like to consider herself a dog. An exception to this is some kind of chewy dog food that comes in individual wrappers. My dad fed it to the monster when she stayed with him and she loves the stuff . . . well, as much as the monster is going to love dog food.

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